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luvkirby4ever

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luvkirby4ever last won the day on January 26

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About luvkirby4ever

  • Birthday November 4
  1. Feeling Conflicted

    Ooh this is a really interesting thread- even though it's a bit of a bummer that you had to pull an all-nighter I'm glad that you documented this for discussion. I think in my college career I've pulled 2 all-nighters for papers (I think I pulled an almost all-nighter to cram for my organic chemistry final which felt somewhat different than putting off writing papers), though I remember the first one in much more vivid detail. Before I talk about that though I'd like to touch up on something you were saying about your 4AM mindset. "Why are you doing this? You don't belong here" was a very frightening mindset that started occurring fairly frequently to me in college, especially when things were getting down to the wire. I think there's something to be said for a tired mind making this worse, though I'd be lying if I said that was the only time I felt that way. That's another story for a different day, though. My takeaway from the experience is that it seems that it's easy for a tired and aching mind to be overcome with our fears and insecurities. My first all-nighter, if I recall correctly, happened my sophomore year of college. I had a lot of early morning classes because I'm actually an early bird but because of this my "4AM brain" existential crisis happened probably around 2AM. It's been awhile but this is what I remember: 8PM: "It's okay I've got this" 10PM: "Why didn't I start this 3 days ago whyyyyyy" Midnight: At this point I was working pretty steadily I think? 2AM: Existential crisis, lots of thoughts about how I didn't belong at college and lots of self-loathing thoughts 4AM: "This is fine" 7PM: I finished and the stress of doing so was lifted, though since I didn't get to sleep my mind didn't fully reset to normal until I turned in my draft and got to sleep for the night One difference between our stories that I noticed is that I didn't feel hungry until I had printed out my draft. I'm usually constantly hungry but I think the stress of the situation prevented me from thinking too much about it past 10PM. I had a string of morning classes but I was surprisingly fine through them- I think at a point my body was prepared to function as though it was a normal day, though my mind was slightly confused at what day of the week it was since sleep is what keeps yesterday from blending into today. I think I took a nap after my block of 4-5 classes (so at like 2PM) but I didn't feel normal again until I got a good night's sleep. This is really what motivated me to respond to this thread. Speaking from my own experiences, I think that maybe there's a degree of self-love that gets compromised in the process. It's one thing to stay up too late and not get sleep. But it's another to let your mind get too tired during a time when you're susceptible to anxiety and deep-seated fears. When I was 14 I was told that I had Seasonally Affective Disorder (which sometime along the way morphed into regular depression), so I've found that I have to be mindful of the situations I'm setting up for my future self. "Preparation is self-love for you future self," or something like that. I'd definitely try to get back on schedule. One thing I recommend is installing a computer program that blocks distracting websites while you work (I use Focal Filter) if that's something that contributes to work procrastination. Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that it's easy to start berating yourself when you fall behind with your work and that that can be more damaging than helpful. I've found that personifying my future self as another person and doing nice things for them is a more helpful line of thinking: [Going to sleep instead of staying up an extra hour on Tumblr:] "You'll be tired- go ahead and get some sleep." [Not eating pizza for breakfast:] "You wouldn't want to be groggy for that thing that you're doing later." [Starting on a task I need to do:] "This one's for you, future me." All that aside, though, I hope you feel better. It's a feeling I'm too familiar with so I sincerely hope it's something that isn't eating away at you. You can do it, don't let your 4AM brain tell you otherwise.
  2. 502 Bad Gateway Error

    As of posting this, I can now access the forum I was trying to look at. It could be my imagination but the site feels laggy when trying to switch threads, though. Just thought it would be good to report in case there's something bugging up the system.
  3. 502 Bad Gateway Error

    Is anyone else experiencing some difficulties accessing the forums? I wanted to look at a thread someone made but when I try to access the forum I get a 500 error message: If I hit "try again" I get a "502 Bad Gateway" error message. I'm not sure if it's a problem on my end or something to do with the server, but I thought I'd report it.
  4. Green Grass (Focused.af Discussion)

    Aaaaaa thank you! It's going to be an amazing story one day so I've got to keep on persevering. Thanks for the kind words
  5. Green Grass (Focused.af Discussion)

    Firstly, wanting to do many different things is 1000% relatable- if I could do many different things I'd love to compose some music, make video games, draw webcomics, write amazing fanfic, be fluent in Japanese, learn to code, maybe learn a bit of dancing, and all sorts of random stuff (make a podcast maybe!). Granted that some of that you can try to do in the same lifetime- I've just been so consumed with my art lately that I don't even have much time to play video games anymore (a deadly sin as far as my 10 year old self was concerned). Regardless of how many of these things can be accomplished in one lifetime, however, I think that the topic of the episode is pretty relevant. No matter what you try getting into, it starts getting harder (the grass gets less green) the more you look into it. Which leads me to my next point. I think that the "grass is always greener" metaphor presented is pretty spot-on. There's a saying that the more you learn, the more you realize that you don't know anything... and that's pretty much what your friend was saying Zach. Everything has its rough patches (of grass), it's merely a matter of what ones you choose to endure. I have my own funny little example here (though Google misreads "compound" as "heavy"). As someone who does amateur translating the fact that there's a wall of dialect, tone, casual use, nuance, complex sentences, and much more to master is rather daunting. But I love doing it, so it's not something that will get me to stop. Speaking of stopping, I also agree that it's worse to start over on big projects than to work your way through what you already have. I've had tons of ideas and started projects over the years that have been abandoned because I hit a point where it started looking less tantalizing than the greener grasses of other projects. But after years and years of wanting to do all of these art projects but not getting anywhere with any of them I started getting tired of watching all of my passionate ideas die, so I'm finally buckling down and honing in on one. In fact, with my current project (a webcomic I'm creating) I had taken a year off because I had discovered Wolf 359 and wanted to make art for it while it was still running (/I was facing that problem of wanting to slip away from this patch of grass). Then I realized that I had a problem because my art had improved in the year I was on hiatus. So I thought about starting over (with new updated art because I found myself hating a particularly early set of pages) but knew that if I did that I'd probably give up the project entirely. Not this time! I'm tired of running away from all this stuff that I'm very passionate about. So I'm working through the fear and you know what? Putting behind me the pages I hate the most: And looking at what has come out of moving forward: I'm glad that I chose to keep going C:
  6. Green Grass (Focused.af Discussion)

    I thought it'd be neat to start a thread for the latest (as of April 13, 2018) Focused.af episode, "Green Grass". Since I tend to talk too much I thought I'd preface my thoughts with a post highlighting what I think are the big talking points of the episode: Loving lots of things and wanting to do them all "The grass is always greener" because you've got to be up close to see the patchy (bad) spots of something Starting over vs. working through what you already have So what do you all think?
  7. Rose, Thorn, and Bud

    Rose: I managed to finish a page I was working on within the 4 day limit I had given myself without cutting corners. I feel victorious! Thorn: Work evaluations are going around and I always get paranoid that every little detail that I miss makes me disposable. Gotta work on the anxiety. Bud: Tomorrow I'll be starting my next page, this time with a 3 day limit since 2 of those days are weekend days. I'm hopeful that this time limit is just as viable as the 4 week day limit so that I can combine the 2 limits and create a steady 2 pages a week.
  8. Since nobody has asked any questions yet I'll ask one that's been on my mind. It's actually one that I asked you, Zach, (as well as Zach Libresco) but both of you didn't know what it meant. I hope you don't mind that I'm asking again (with clarity this time, in case you want to answer too). (Also don't worry- I won't be offended if you don't want to read all of this. I got a bit carried away with my explanation! I've included a "too long didn't read" if you don't want the full thing.) What are your thoughts on "author's intent" versus "death to the author"? It's a debate that I've seen many creators grapple with and nobody has reached a consensus on it so I'm curious about what you think. (tldr: Is it best for the creator or fans to have more power when deciding the meaning of a work of art? How much control should each side have?) The idea is this: when creating a piece of art, the author has a certain sort of intent. Whether it be for fun or to make a statement, creators have specific things in mind while making their creations. It informs their decisions on why they write/paint/express things a certain way in their work. This is the "author's intent"- the way they intended people to take their work. When you consider the author's intent while consuming art, you view the piece through their lens- taking into mind the author's background and identity, what they have to say about their work, and what they tried to accomplish through their work. Contrasting this is "death to the author". This is where all consideration for the author's intent is ignored. Instead, all meaning gathered from the work should be derived from the person consuming the art. Whatever the artist was trying to say doesn't matter- the important thing is how each individual sees the work. I've heard many arguments in favor of one or the other but there's no general consensus it seems. As both an aspiring creator and an avid fan of things, it's really worrisome. As a fan I like a certain degree of "death to the author" because it allows me to interpret interactions and themes the way I want but as a creator "author's intent" is pretty important too since I want people to understand what I'm trying to say. Here's a way to make this all a little less abstract: Why author's intent can be good: it can help people understand/appreciate symbolism better, gives the author a voice to let them speak about issues important to them, and explains things like why characters act the way they do. A solid example of this is the book "Animal Farm", which is actually about a failed Russian Revolution. It makes the events of the story more interesting by giving them a bit of extra weight while also making its ending more tragic. Why author's intent can be bad: by making the author's word law, it stifles opposing opinions on the work. As with the saying "the road to hell is paved with good intentions", sometimes authors can be trying to do something good but ultimately do something bad (like if an author was trying to make a story fighting racism but wrote something that's interpreted as racist instead). Author's intent takes away the power of interpreting art in your own way in favor of reaffirming the author's opinion. An excellent example is the poem "The Road Not Taken". There's a really in-depth Youtube video explaining this but the poem- which is often used as a source of inspiration- isn't really about taking difficult or splitting paths in life. The poem was actually written by Frost because he was poking fun at an indecisive friend! But honestly Robert Frost can pry the line "I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference" from my cold, dead hands before that stops being important to me. Why death to the author can be good: It allows for people (especially minorities) to take charge and see the work as something that applies more to themselves and their struggles (such as deciding that certain characters are POC or LGBT+). It helps create a feeling of community and collaboration when come together and discuss the different ways that they see the art. It also creates a degree of separation between the author and the work, which is good if the author is a jerk. Fanfic, in general, is a good example of this. "Ender's Game" is also a good example, since the story (and message, if I recall correctly) is good but the author is a nasty person. Why death to the author can be bad: It gives people the power to twist elements of the story for nefarious purposes. It also ignores any of the artist's struggles/identity that goes into the work, since it's impossible to completely separate your background/experiences from the undertone your work takes. In general I also think it's dangerous to live by an attitude of "it doesn't matter what you had to say regarding ______ because here is what I think." A strange example of this is an internet meme known as Pepe the Frog. Due to some contrivances Pepe started being used by/associated with the alt-right and white supremacists, despite Pepe's creator being vehemently against it. It went so far that the creator made a funeral comic for Pepe, which most people figure represents that Pepe is dead now (to his creator, at least).
  9. 5/6/18 #SelfCareSunday Episode 45: Sarah Shachat

    EDIT: (gah I misread this, gotta copy + paste this in the correct thread...)
  10. Baking

    Wow Rina these look great! I love the Mario mushroom and the sweets with cool swirly/crisscross patterns especially!
  11. Last Post Wins

    I win.
  12. Web Development Stuff

    Haha this is surprisingly versatile and fun. Thanks for this Rina!
  13. How do you create self-imposed deadlines?

    Thank you everyone for your replies! I apologize for the late response but appreciate the input ^^;
  14. Game Writing

    Oh wow I know you posted this all the way back on March 2nd but I hope that I can provide a little bit of help. I think the first question to consider is what sort of game that you want to make. From the sounds of it, given your interest on writing, you would do best following an RPG or interactive story format. RPGs tend to give lots of opportunity for story development and quirky NPCs (who can provide useful gameplay mechanic information or supplementary story telling bits) while still having a turn-based combat type of game play. For reference such games include Final Fantasy, Earthbound, Mario & Luigi, Persona, Pokemon, and plenty of others. On the other hand, interactive stories (a shining example being Kan Gao's "To the Moon" series) are great for indie developers who want to tell a story through a game interface, without having to worry too much about balancing out game stuff (programming gameplay, difficulty balancing, how interesting it is, etc.). There's all kinds of ways to incorporate story into other game styles but since I'm no programmer (a regret of mine, I admit) I can only comfortably talk about using an RPG or interactive story based game engine. A useful program that you can use is one of the programs from the the "RPG maker" series. Kan Gao (To the Moon's creator) used RPG Maker XP to create the game and it plays spectacularly (it's a nice little story if you've never played it before, I definitely recommend!). RPG maker allows for a lot of really cool stuff that you can use if you don't know how to code stuff but also lets you input code so that you're not confined to what it has to offer. And considering that it allows you to import music, sprites, art, tilesets, and more it's great for making fan games and independent projects. You can find the RPG maker series on Steam, where stuff goes on sale from time-to-time. For instance, the newest in the series is RPG Maker MV... which for some reason costs $80 (USD) but I got it on sale so I only paid $20 for it. If you don't want to wait, however, as far as I know RPG Maker XP is still pretty solid and is currently $25 USD. The useful thing about getting something through Steam as well (if you know don't how to use Steam I'd be happy to explain it to you) is that there are community forums for talking with people about stuff, so there's plenty of opportunity to get advice/tips/etc. from people who also are using RPG Maker. RPG Maker can seem a bit daunting because they don't really have a tutorial mode but there's so many helpful Youtube videos that I've made a few rudimentary test rooms with some fun quirks (like establishing warp points, changing the weather/music, button-activation mechanics). With all that said, I don't know if RPG Maker would interest you. I can say with certainty, however, that if you're looking for someone to bounce off ideas with that I would love to help. Video games are one of my passions and I love the way certain games capture particular tones and nuances that wouldn't work in other mediums (the MOTHER series has a very quirky and charming sense of humor and is a great example of this). If you're ever looking for someone to talk with about this sort of thing, I'd be happy to collaborate or help!
  15. Alphabits.

    Oh, but if those are the rules wouldn't it start getting hard working in difficult letters like 'Q'?
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